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I think everybody has recurring dreams. I believe flying is pretty widespread, and falling dreams. I’ve spoken with people who also have school-related dreams, even naked-in-public dreams, not necessarily like mine.

Michael, I can understand your photography related ones because that is your livelihood. I think the ones I have about not taking care of a baby or pet is because it’s always been so important to me to fulfill my responsibilities. I was a young mother, 17 years old. So I was afraid I didn’t know enough, or was doing enough.  Yet my babies always were fed on time, on through childhood. Bathed every day, hot breakfast, clean clothes, all of that. Regular bedtimes.  That responsibility flowed through all of my duties as a mother, wife and a daughter. I think I’ve been afraid I would fail, and it comes out in my dreams.

Fear of failure, no matter what subject it concerns, is a part of most of us. All it ever takes to make the dreams worse is screwing up a time or two, like the missing film, the reformatted card. Like the time my 2 oldest at 4 & 6 shut themselves in a closet and lit matches. That closet door stuck and was hard to open.  It could have ended in tragedy...my fault for not checking on them often enough while they played in their room. 

Things like that does a number on our psyche. The more responsible we are, the more things like that mess with us. We all fail at one time or another. Some of us take it harder than others, that feeds the dreams.

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3 hours ago, Betty LaRue said:

That’s so funny. One of my repetitive nightmares is that my teeth are falling out, one by one. I hate that.

I’m so glad that’s not just me (actually that sounds bad because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone), with me it always starts out with a tight feeling around my gums then the taste of blood before they start falling out. I’ve always put it down to a lot of dental work when I was a child, happy memories ;)

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1 hour ago, Thyrsis said:

I have recurring dreams on a regular basis.

I’m packing to go home from holiday but I have too much stuff. I’m thinking why did I bring all this with me but I can’t imagine leaving it behind...very symbolic of something!

Or having moved house but I don’t know why and the new place is a wreck.

And phones that won't work, there are no buttons or they fall apart.

And driving but not being able to control the car.

And finding my way blocked by deep water.

And the teeth falling out one....

 

Actually, thinking about it, I don’t have nice dreams!!

 

I could very easily be an armchair psychologist on these! ;)
 

1. Fear of not being prepared, so you over-prepare.

2. Fear of making rash decisions.

3. Fear connected with communications, making someone understand your viewpoint.

4. Feeling your life is out of your control, no matter how you try.

5. Some of your needs are not being met, your being blocked.

6. Realizing our lives aren’t infinite, and in the old days, losing teeth was connected with getting old with death around the corner.
 

That’ll be $400 please or do you want me to mail the bill?

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1 minute ago, Bionic said:

I’m so glad that’s not just me (actually that sounds bad because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone), with me it always starts out with a tight feeling around my gums then the taste of blood before they start falling out. I’ve always put it down to a lot of dental work when I was a child, happy memories ;)

Seems more widespread than I thought! 😁

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Worryingly perhaps I rarely dream, but when I have done it normally involves my having to take a maths exam for which I am woefully unprepared. Very happy not to have this dream too often !

 

I was okish at maths but it was never my favourite subject. I never found it particularly interesting as a discipline in its own right, but, working as an engineer, later learned to use a number of mathematical techniques to solve practical problems. Like most academic subjects, for many people, it needs to be given context in order to bring it to life.

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12 hours ago, Bryan said:

Worryingly perhaps I rarely dream, but when I have done it normally involves my having to take a maths exam for which I am woefully unprepared. Very happy not to have this dream too often !

 

I was okish at maths but it was never my favourite subject. I never found it particularly interesting as a discipline in its own right, but, working as an engineer, later learned to use a number of mathematical techniques to solve practical problems. Like most academic subjects, for many people, it needs to be given context in order to bring it to life.

I’ve heard, Bryan, that everyone dreams about the same as everyone else, but some of us have forgotten our dreams upon awakening. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed I don’t remember my dreams as well as I once did. One thing that cements them is if I wake up during or just after a dream, and thinking about it seems to cement it in my mind. I think that’s why I remember the nightmares so much, they often scare me awake. A lot of my nicer dreams I forget, but sometimes something that happens in my awake life reminds me, “Oh, yeah, I had a dream about that!” 

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I remember I used to have a horrible recurring dream many years ago and it was always exactly the same. Got fed up with it and decided that as I was going to sleep one night that if I had that dream I would say in the dream to the other person, "You know this is only a dream?"

 

Sure enough the dream manifested itself and I said, "You know this is only a dream?" I was instantly wide awake, and better still, the dream never returned.

 

Allan

 

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I became a vegetarian because of a dream I had. Too scary to relate here if you love animals. I do eat fish now since the nutritionist at Sloan Kettering advised it when I had cancer. I'd still hate to be in the position of killing the fish though I think I could probably do it. Other creatures no way.

 

Paulette

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2 hours ago, Betty LaRue said:

I’ve heard, Bryan, that everyone dreams about the same as everyone else, but some of us have forgotten our dreams upon awakening. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed I don’t remember my dreams as well as I once did. One thing that cements them is if I wake up during or just after a dream, and thinking about it seems to cement it in my mind. I think that’s why I remember the nightmares so much, they often scare me awake. A lot of my nicer dreams I forget, but sometimes something that happens in my awake life reminds me, “Oh, yeah, I had a dream about that!” 

 

Well I've always had a poor memory Betty and some dreams are best forgotten !  My wife remembers her dreams and is able to describe in detail what was involved, generally weird and unreal but not necessarily unpleasant.

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2 minutes ago, NYCat said:

I became a vegetarian because of a dream I had. Too scary to relate here if you love animals. I do eat fish now since the nutritionist at Sloan Kettering advised it when I had cancer. I'd still hate to be in the position of killing the fish though I think I could probably do it. Other creatures no way.

 

Paulette

When my Air Force husband was stationed in Texas, we lived in Victoria. The apartment rent was so high we were starving. Truly hungry. We were invited to a farm for the day by a friend. The farmer (relative of the friend) told us we could have a chicken, but we’d have to kill and clean it. I was so desperately hungry for fried chicken I could have cried when we both declined his offer. I was 17 and 6 months pregnant. I guess we weren’t that desperate. Yet I resented my husband not being man enough to do it! 🥴

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There is a very funny scene in this film https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/withnail-and-i-1987 in which the guys discover that the chicken a farmer has left for them to eat is a live one. Fortunately, the slaughter is not shown but the bird that goes in the oven is very funny. Plucking is not a skill they have mastered.

 

Paulette

 

I found the chicken scene.... 

 

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5 hours ago, Betty LaRue said:

When my Air Force husband was stationed in Texas, we lived in Victoria. The apartment rent was so high we were starving. Truly hungry. We were invited to a farm for the day by a friend. The farmer (relative of the friend) told us we could have a chicken, but we’d have to kill and clean it. I was so desperately hungry for fried chicken I could have cried when we both declined his offer. I was 17 and 6 months pregnant. I guess we weren’t that desperate. Yet I resented my husband not being man enough to do it! 🥴

 

Mine is a true Christmas story: we stayed in this remote place in Sumatra over Christmas. We were warned: it is the most beautiful place, very very remote and quiet, but the villagers don't want to take you there and may even warn you that it doesn't exist. All this turned out to be true. It had been planned as a Club Med. 6 or 7 huts had been finished as a pilot. Club Med had decided not to come and the owners lived in part of the dining hall. We were the only visitors.

When Christmas came, the fisherman that used to bring us daily fresh fish from the lake, did not turn up. We politely declined a chicken as a Christmas meal and said an egg would do for us.

 

wim

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Oh my, oh my. Something bad did happen today. My friend who cancelled our Thanksgiving dinner because she was afraid she had Covid fell and broke her arm. The good news is that she had the rapid Covid test last Friday and she is not ill. But she has been through this before a few years ago when she broke her wrist. That was the left one and now she has broken the right arm. She called me from the Emergency room and at that point they thought she had broken it in two places. Fortunately, it turns out to be only one break and she is splinted and has a sling. The Emergency place is a 15 minute walk from me and I went over there and went home with her to help her get settled. She had a wonderful surgeon the last time and she is going to contact him. I hope she doesn't need surgery again but at least she knows her doctor is excellent and will do the right thing for her. So I did a lot of the things I did last time. She gives her cats food from the tiny cans and they are really impossible to open with one hand. So I opened a bunch of cans and put them in the fridge. We found a down vest she can wear on one arm and snap over the one in the sling. I opened jars and medicine containers and took down the trash. She has a housekeeper she really likes and the woman has lost the rest of her clients because of the pandemic so she is sure she can pay her to come and help. And, of course, I will continue to help. I think she is going to have more use of her hand this time and that will make a difference. Be careful. Don't fall.

 

Paulette

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3 hours ago, wiskerke said:

 

Mine is a true Christmas story: we stayed in this remote place in Sumatra over Christmas. We were warned: it is the most beautiful place, very very remote and quiet, but the villagers don't want to take you there and may even warn you that it doesn't exist. All this turned out to be true. It had been planned as a Club Med. 6 or 7 huts had been finished as a pilot. Club Med had decided not to come and the owners lived in part of the dining hall. We were the only visitors.

When Christmas came, the fisherman that used to bring us daily fresh fish from the lake, did not turn up. We politely declined a chicken as a Christmas meal and said an egg would do for us.

 

wim

An egg! That’s terrible.

My first Christmas as an airman’s wife, the story above (no money, no food/high rent) was in place. We’d been married 3 months and at that time we were in Indiana. I was only a few weeks into a pregnancy and so sick to my stomach I felt like death warmed over. I even threw up water if I took a drink and had already lost more weight than I could spare. We had no food except cold cereal which was cheap back then. But the smell of the cereal made me barf.
We were on the top floor of a two story house with an exterior stairs. Our landlady and her husband lived on the first floor. She fixed a full Christmas dinner, turkey, dressing, all the trimmings. But they were tiny, old people, skinny, and they ate like birds.

She brought up one plate of food for us. Tiny helpings that really wasn’t enough to satisfy my husband but probably looked like a feast for them.

I was starving. I hadn’t been able to eat much since becoming so severely ill. But I knew if I shared the food between us, it would just come right back up. So I told Bob that I wasn’t hungry and for him to eat it.

That was one of the hardest things I ever did, telling that lie, because it was the first thing that smelled good to me in a long time.

In February, I had a miscarriage. Could have been from malnutrition and dehydration. I’d been 16 years old for 2 1/2 months.

 

I’m a firm believer that hard times, and somehow finding a way to survive them, only makes one stronger.  It has me.
Paulette, I’m so sorry about your friend. No time is a good time to break a bone, but her timing particularly stinks.  She’s lucky to have you.

 

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That puts things into perspective Betty, I've never had an experience as bad as that.

 

We're trying to help support a friend who recently lost her husband after a long illness and who lives in a large rambling house with many issues, both real and imaginary. Lockdown has made face to face help impossible recently, but with some easing of the restrictions, my wife is travelling to see her in a public park today. A difficult call, you are expected not to travel unless for work etc, but this is a mental health issue. My wife once lost a work colleague due to suicide, and while she was in no way responsible, she still has guilt about it. You have to make judgement calls throughout this crisis, whether it's to go into a shop to buy food, use public transport or whatever. 

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this is the brain activity area where we most often have dreams we remember.

 

Hypnagogia, also referred to as "hypnagogic hallucinations", is the experience of the transitional state from wakefulness to sleep: the hypnagogic state of consciousness, during the onset of sleep. (The opposite transitional state from sleep into wakefulness is described as hypnopompic.) Mental phenomena that may occur during this "threshold consciousness" phase include hallucinations, lucid thought, lucid dreaming, and sleep paralysis. The latter two phenomena are themselves separate sleep conditions that are sometimes experienced during the hypnagogic state.

 

have you noticed how quickly we forget the details of a dream? 

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So sorry to hear how hard Covid is making it for you all. I can only imagine what it's like.

 

Betty, I'm so sad for your younger self... I too was a child bride but didn't suffer any hardships at all, I don't think I've ever gone hungry.

 

Paulette, I hope your friend heals quickly.

 

Sally, you really are going through a lot at the moment. I hope you eventually find some time for you and your camera.

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Oh boy, it is getting tough to read this thread but I am so glad we have it.  It is always good to remember that most everyone is going thru or dealing with something adverse in life.  So important to be kind to strangers and one another.  Yesterday I had a shoot at an addiction clinic in a tough part of DC.  I wasn’t photographing the clients but was there to photograph the staff and volunteers.  It made me appreciate just how fortunate I and my family are, even with our little struggles.
 

I hope this holiday season can bring good health and healing to all of us!

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Outside my house Thames Water have dug up the the same area of pavement now 3 times in 3 weeks, yesterdays dig happened while I was out. This time there is no space to park my small car outside. They investigate, find no leak, then the hole is filled, allowed to settle for a few days before neatly capping it. This time the same hole, more cones, signs and pavement ramps, but only 2 workers and a small van, they have been standing around since 7:30am. On the bright side I was hoping for some more interesting photography documenting their work, but I have to go out at around 11am.

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9 hours ago, Ed Rooney said:

oh my

 

Are you getting any help, Edo? I'm sure there is help available.... social services or private charities. When the pandemic started the senior center I had registered with started calling me once a week to see if I needed anything. The Salvation Army called to thank me for donations but also to offer help. One of my neighbors is getting free groceries delivered (I think through a city agency). And, of course, there is Meals on Wheels and God's Love We Deliver. My friend is lucky to be able to spend at least a little on help and she also has another friend besides me who can come to her place. You are in a difficult situation being new and not having a network of friends there but I bet there are options. If you have any tips for living with a hampered arm let me know!

 

Paulette

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I'm doing the best I can on my own, Cat. I report events here but I won't be getting into discussing details of this complex situation. Thanks for asking.

 

The city opened up again today in the lead up to Christmas.

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16 hours ago, Ed Rooney said:

this is the brain activity area where we most often have dreams we remember.

 

Hypnagogia, also referred to as "hypnagogic hallucinations", is the experience of the transitional state from wakefulness to sleep: the hypnagogic state of consciousness, during the onset of sleep. (The opposite transitional state from sleep into wakefulness is described as hypnopompic.) Mental phenomena that may occur during this "threshold consciousness" phase include hallucinations, lucid thought, lucid dreaming, and sleep paralysis. The latter two phenomena are themselves separate sleep conditions that are sometimes experienced during the hypnagogic state.

 

have you noticed how quickly we forget the details of a dream? 

You mention sleep paralysis. That has happened to me. Awake but not quite awake...try to move, can’t move.  Then tell myself to get up and I can’t. It’s horrible. Good thing is that I haven’t experienced it in the last couple of years. Which begs the question...does stress cause it? It happened a lot when I was stressed. Not since things have been peaceful.
I found, Ed, with a particularly horrible nightmare, if I woke Bob so I could tell it to him, I could shake the horror. That also cemented the details so I remembered it the next morning.

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Lots of really quite bad things being reported here, well here's not such a bad thing ! 

 

We've reached the end of our home grown onions and have had to buy some from Sainsbury's. Managed to book a click and collect slot and a good thing it was too, as it coincided with their 25% off if you buy 6 bottles of wine. Stocked up on a variety of reds. 🍷

Edited by Bryan
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