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Rather than intersperse humorous posts among more serious ones and as a lot of us will be spending more time at home I thought it might be a good idea  to have a thread to try and cheer us all up a bit.

Humorous, funny or downright hilarious posts only please, the only exception being inspirational.  

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4 minutes ago, John Morrison said:

Even better value...

 

Private Eye Magazine

 

Similarly, to address any future shortage of toilet rolls we had considered subscribing to Murdoch's Australian newspaper, but as I pointed out to my better half, it'd be no use as it's already covered in shite . . .

DD

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The following quote is from a woman lining up outside a liquor store in Vancouver after fears spread that government-run liquor stores might be closing (they aren't, at least not yet): "If I'm going to get COVID-19, the last thing I want is to die sober." 

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On a sign outside a Paediatric ward part of a hand cleanliness warning " The first few minutes of life can be the most dangerous" some one had added "The last few minutes can be pretty dodgy as well"

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In Germany they are preparing for a potential lockdown situation by stockpiling sausages inside large pieces of luggage.

 

It’s really a wurst case scenario.....

 

(@DadJokeMan on Twitter)

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When I first went in to isolation I was concerned I would have to talk to the wife*.

I needn't have worried, turns out she's** quite a nice person when you get to know her***

 

* Insert wife/husband

** Insert she's/ he's

*** insert her/him

Where appropriate. 

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12 hours ago, Futterwithtrees said:

How Can I put an amusing MP4 from my computer onto this forum post

put it on your Google Drive and share the link.

Edited by spacecadet
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